Oriental Modesty

I just recently finished reading a book by Adibah Amin, Glimpses. I first heard of Adibah Amin through her translation of Shahnon Ahmad's book Ranjau Sepanjang Jalan (Thorns Among Roses) and this is the second time I heard of her actually writing a book herself.

Glimpses narrates the norms and unique cultures that Malaysian carries or in her own words it is the cameos of Malaysian life. I find the book is true in its account for capturing the essence of cultural believes and characteristics of Malaysians. I find it nothing new really when reading the books but nonetheless it still brings smile on my face when I nod in agreement to what she wrote regarding the funny and witty attitude that Malaysians possess. In short, the book captures the everyday lives of Malaysians.

Among all the chapters that she demarcates the book into, I find that this one chapter has to be told in my blog for my own future reference. The barely three pages chapter of Oriental Modesty I have to fully agree with her. She begins the chapter with,

"When someone pays you a compliment, do you smile and say 'thank you' western-style or do you respond eastern-fashion with a coy 'no-lah'?"



Personally, I think we have to shift our unnecessary so-called ethically modesty into somewhat that reflects self-confidence in a humble way. Well, that may be a complicated way of putting it. In short, with respect to the above paragraph 'no-lah' actually is an act of rejecting the compliments and to some westerners it may be inappropriate (rude is too big a word). Saying thank you (or better still 'thank you and I thank God for that') reflects self-assurance and a positive of handling compliments. However, being Asians (or Malaysians) that notion may be interpreted as to brag or to boast having been complimented. If this is the case, the complimenter should not have complimented hypocritically if he/she expects such replies. Both complimenter and complimentee have to be true to themselves in demonstrating a non self-denial attitude.

Malaysian are full of self-denial and unnecessary modesty that to them can be construed as humility in disguise. We said 'no-lah' when someone complimented your big house and 'he is just like any other child' when someone congrats on your child's achievements. Our paradigm has to be shifted to a culture that shows more of convincing and positive mind-set instead of denying the true facts of life in the name of modesty.