Wednesday, March 08, 2006

God's Discretion

This entry may sound cliché and typical but I am just writing what I feel right now.

GOD decides everything that happens in my life. I do not know how to describe my belief in Him right now. Definitely I believe in the power of god as I have heard, read and even witnessed it myself. I keep telling my self that when something befalls unto my life may it be a bitter or a pleasant one, there is always a reason behind it. Why do I wake up a little later this morning that usual and why I decided to wear a dark green long sleeve shirt to office today other than my usual short sleeve. Even the minute details that I do in life have a purpose. I may not see the purpose of it now, may not notice it and may not even realise why I did it. God has arranged everything. Sometimes I wonder why don’t (if god has arranged everything!) we just let my life flow as it is. Just let the wind carry me to where I belong according to god’s discretion. Therefore, I do not have to bother to go against my needs, feelings and beliefs. Then I realise that yes He decides everything but I have to inspire it myself. Whereby, I have to ponder upon my existence. Why am I being brought to this world and why am I working in Perth and not back home. Ultimately, I realise that whatever happen in my life was inspired or planned by me but decided by Him. His power and rank do not even affected by my doings. It only affects me here in this world and the hereafter. But on the other hand, I believe that god is merciful and gracious. He pardoned me so many times when I forgot about him. He does not even take my eyes back when I see obscene things and does not amputate my leg when I walk towards the evil paths. I can feel that He guides me through my life. I always have this uncanny feeling towards others who forgot about Him. I do not know why but I feel pity for them and I hope that He will give hidayah to those who have astrayed far from the righteous way. I pray for them and may god listen to me this time too. Forgive me for I have sinned a lot and I always try to do my best but sometimes my weak heart got disturbed by the devil’s whisper. YOU know best!!

**I have decided to sponsor a child today. What is the purpose of me being happy here when other people on the oether side of the world is suffering.

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