Need A Sunshine For My Emptiness

It has been quite a while since I last wrote in my blog. Was in Malaysia for a month, went to Gold Coast for five days and now doing my vacation employment for five weeks with JP Kenny, Perth. Never had I have this busy a summer before. As I told myself earlier, this blog is not a diary for me whereby I write my everyday chores so that the whole world can know what I do day by day. Since the first time I wrote this blog, it was about things I encounter, people I met and sometimes my own personal feeling that I think worth writing for remembrance of all the interesting things that I experience in my life. I generally do not release my blog to all my friends so to say tell them that I have a blog. Kind of shy because this is the only place that I have been most frank with. I wrote sincerely what I feel towards something and surprisingly somehow it satisfies me.



At this moment I really feel empty as though there is a hollow inside me that needs to be filled up. It makes me sad and I always ponder upon it. I need someone that can really understand me to fill this colossal. I wish I have the courage to say what I want to say. Strange as it is, the one thing that we should say is the thing that we do not say(Listen for LOVE). I guess I am too scared of being disappointed but I know that it is just a cycle of life that you have to face no matter what. Should I just speak my heart out and let God decides everything? I feel so empty!



I am lonely in the office now and the emptiness further consolidated. Sometimes I feel like I was just pretending to laugh and smile when the person inside me is struggling to find ‘his’ way out of the emptiness. But what can I do? Well I guess everyone has his own ‘empty’ time, it is just the way you fill it up with moments.

Recently the word ‘life’ comes into the limelight. Whether you have a life or not seems to be a great deal of a time now. People say live life to the fullest and I do believe in that but sometimes life is not always the way you want it to be like I always say. You have to intricately shove your way to find the beauty in its path. You have to know how to make full use of your life because we live not long in this world. Furthermore with what we face in today’s hectic world, our day become shorter with heaps of things to do. That’s why ‘life’ is so important now and right now, I do not know if I have a life or not. May be not a perfect life.

I just hope that my emptiness will fade away soon and God give me courage to speak out.