Books are where my heart lies

I wish I can read all the books in the world. I wish I have all the time in the world to read to my heart's content. Books make me wander to the strange world I was brought into reading it.

I am an avid reader and also and avid book collector. I hope one day I can have a whole room as my official library of all the books that I have read. I enjoy just my looking at my collections. With age, I find that the material that I read became more 'serious' and 'mature'. I started to delve into Islamic history and biographies. My books are non-fiction and very rarely I read fiction.

Now my time is limited. Most of my books I finish in the train or bus to and from work. Some books you could not resist to finish it just to know what happen in the end. Why do we read? I think it is more than filling your free time. We read to comprehend others. We read to feel what the other end is trying to convey to us. We read to understand what happen in the past to learn for the future. I feel empty if I don't read.

It so happen that I bought books more than I could read them. And I still find myself bying more books before I could finish reading the one on the shelf. Some books are not meant to be read page by page, they are meant as references.

My favourite Malay novelist : Shahnon Ahmad
My favourite English novelist : Frank McCourt

Suasana Hati

Hari ini hati ini masih tidak tenteram. Aku tak punya tempat lain untuk meluahkan perasaan ini kecuali di sini. Dan aku tidak fikir aku boleh meluahkannya kepada sesiapa. Aku pun tak fikir sesiapa perlu tahu apa yang ada dalam hati ini. Mungkin aku keliru antara yang haq dan yang batil. Dan aku juga mungkin keliru tatkala aku meminta kepada Tuhan yang aku fikirkan benar yang mungkin menjadi batil di kala ini.



Dah banyak kali aku berzikir untuk mendamaikan hati ini, namum hati terus merusuh. Entah berapa kali aku telah berdoa untuk menenangkan hati ini. Syaitan terus bermain di hati dan di perasaan ini. Andai aku boleh putar semula masa, mungkin aku akan berikan diri ini kesempatan sekali lagi untuk meluahkannya. Adakala kita meminta namun tidak dikurniakan Tuhan dan adakala kurniaan datang tanpa permintaan. Aku percaya yang Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang kita tidak.

Tatkala ini, hati ini terlalu rapuh yang mungkin rebah menyembah bumi kalau tidak kena keadaan. Aku cuba meyakinkan hati ini bahawa apa yang terjadi adalah terbaik dari Tuhan.



Ya Allah. Pegang hati ini kuat-kuat sebagaiman Engkau pegang hati ibu Nabi Musa a.s. ketika bertemu semua dengan anaknya.

Chapter 71

We sent Noah to his People (with the Command): "Do thou warn thy People before there comes to them a grievous Penalty."

He said: "O my People! I am to you a Warner, clear and open.

That ye should worship God, fear Him and obey me.

"So He may forgive you your sins and give you respite for a stated Term: for when the Term given by God is accomplished, it cannot be put forward: if ye only knew."

He said: "O my Lord! I have called to my People night and day."

"But my call only increases (their) flight (from the Right)."



"And every time I have called to them, that Thou mightest forgive them, they have (only) thrust their fingers into their ears, covered themselves up with their garments, grown obstinate, and given themselves up to arrogance.

"So I have called to them aloud;

"Further I have spoken to them in public and secretly in private,

"Saying, 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; for He is Oft-Forgiving;

"'He will send rain to you in abundance;

"'Give you increase in wealth and sons; and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers (of flowing water).

"'What is the matter with you, that ye place not your hope for kindness and long-suffering in God,

"'Seeing that it is He that has created you in diverse stages?

"'See ye not how God has created the seven heavens one above another,

"'And made the moon a light in their midst, and made the sun as a (Glorious) Lamp?

"'And God has produced you from the earth growing (gradually),

"'And in the End He will return you into the (earth), and raise you forth (again at the Resurrection)?

"'And God has made the earth for you as a carpet (spread out),

"'That ye may go about therein, in spacious roads.'"

Noah said: "O my Lord! They have disobeyed me, but they follow (men) whose wealth and children give them no increase but only Loss.

"And they have devised a tremendous Plot.

"And they have said (to each other), 'Abandon not your gods: Abandon neither Wadd nor Suwa', neither Yaguth nor Ya'uq, nor Nasr';-

"They have already misled many; and grant Thou no increase to the wrong- doers but in straying (from their mark)."

Because of their sins they were drowned (in the flood), and were made to enter the Fire (of Punishment): and they found- in lieu of God- none to help them.

And Noah, said: "O my Lord! Leave not of the Unbelievers, a single one on earth!

"For, if Thou dost leave (any of) them, they will but mislead Thy devotees, and they will breed none but wicked ungrateful ones.

"O my Lord! Forgive me, my parents, all who enter my house in Faith, and (all) believing men and believing women: and to the wrong-doers grant Thou no increase but in perdition!"

Flutters

Of late my heart flutters. It flutters from the old memory that has recently resonated, thus disturbing my feelings. I never thought that it would have any weigh on my memory but only until recently when I stumbled upon the writing that this heart of mine start to flutters. I suddenly long for the old memories. But this longing would not change anything.

I try to describe this feeling. Everytime I tried to I could not help but feeling guilty, remorse.

Regrets? I don't know. It is too far-reaching now. I will only watch from far.

When will this heart stop fluttering? May Allah rest His hand on my heart.

p/s: Hati ini terus bergetar, berdebar. Tiba-tiba aku rindu.

Matters of the Heart

I have always been fascinated by the subject human heart. Not the physical heart but rather the spiritual heart. It has been used to define a character of a person or even a nation as mentioned in the Quran. In many cultures the heart has been used metaphorically to describe the state of being e.g. hard hearted, warm-hearted etc. However I am more interested on the spiritual aspects of the heart. I resort to the Quran and there are numerous scripts mentioning the severity or the gravity for a pure, clean heart. To obtain a pure, clean heart should be the ultimate goal for everyone who believes in the Hereafter.

Surely in the human breast is a lump of flesh. If sound then the whole body is sound. If corrupt then the whole body is corrupt. Is not the heart? (Muhammad s.a.w)

Blessed are the pure at heart, for they shall see God. (Jesus a.s)

No wealth could substitute for a pure heart during the Judgement Day.


The Day when there will not benefit [anyone] wealth or children. But only one who comes to Allah with a sound heart." (As-Shua’ra : 88-89).

It is so significant that before the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was taken on the Night Journey, his heart was cleansed by Jibrail signifying the importance of a clean heart before meeting his Creator.

Sh Hamza Yusuf in his book Purification of the Heart mentioned that “If we examine the trials and tribulations all over earth, we’ll find that they are rooted in human hearts”.

In His wrath (for those who turn against Allah), Allah will turn their hearts and liken them to worse than animals for they have hearts but do not make use of it to understand the religion.


In their hearts is disease, so Allah has increased their disease; and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie. (Al-Baqarah:10)


And We have certainly created for Hell many of the jinn and mankind. They have hearts with which they do not understand, they have eyes with which they do not see, and they have ears with which they do not hear. Those are like livestock; rather, they are more astray. It is they who are the heedless. (Al-A’raf:179)

And He guided whom He wishes to guide. It is incumbent upon us to always ask from Him to guide us in the right path.


So whoever Allah wants to guide - He expands his breast to [contain] Islam; and whoever He wants to misguide - He makes his breast tight and constricted as though he were climbing into the sky. Thus does Allah place defilement upon those who do not believe. (Al-An’am:125)


And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided. (Al-Baqarah:186)

Indeed in the remembrance of Allah does the heart find peace.


Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." (Al-Ra’d:28)

According to Wabisah bin Ma'bad, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said:
I came to the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, and he said: "You have come to ask about righteousness ?" " Yes," I answered. He said: "Consult your heart. Righteousness is that about which the soul feels tranquil and the heart feels tranquil, and sin is what creates restlessness in the soul and moves to and fro in the breast, even though people give you their opinion (in your favour) and continue to do so."

[A good hadith transmitted from the Musnads of the two Imams, Ahmad bin Hanbal and Al-Darimi]

On Being a Leader

This touches my heart. It makes me believe that people can be sincere, truly sincere in expressing his/her feelings upon encountering someone that has (or sincerely trying to) brought changed to a nation. The lady expresses what she feels and who Ahmadenijad in her eyes and we can see that she speaks from her heart. She expects nothing in return but I can see how satisfy she was being able to convey her feelings to the leader that she admires (and I begin to admire him now too).

Being a leader is not about being able to speak rhetorically.
Being a leader is not about convincing people that their lives will change should he be elected.
Being a leader is not about sweet talking, all words but no action.

Being a leader is about doing things sincerely for the benefit of the masses and not for himself as leadership is a responsibility not a previlege.

It does not matter should no one appreciate.
It does not matter should you loose friends along the way.

With sincererity, you will find someone as humble as the lady to speak out about you and it should make you look to the ground and thank Allah for giving you a sincere heart of a leader.

On Knowledge

From link I found in Facebook....

Ketahuilah, salah seorang murid Al Ghazali yang telah menyertai gurunya selama bertahun-tahun bertanya-tanya kepada dirinya. Ia berguru, menemani dan melayani gurunya dalam waktu yang cukup lama. Berbagai ilmu dan pengalaman spiritual telah diperolehnya, tetapi ia masih merasa ragu terhadap dirinya. Ia berkata kepada dirinya, "Saya telah membaca berbagai macam ilmu. Usiaku habis untuk belajar dan mengumpulkan bermacam-macam ilmu. Hingga sekarang saya tidak mengetahui ilmu yang mana yang bermanfaat bagiku dan menemaniku kelak di alam kubur. Saya juga tidak tahu ilmu mana yang tidak bermanfaat bagiku sehingga saya harus meninggalkannya. Padahal Rasulullah saw. telah berdoa: "Ya Allah, sesungguhnya saya berlindung denganMu dari ilmu yang tidak bermanfaat."

Ia terus berfikir dan berfikir sampai akhirnya memutuskan untuk menulis surat kepada gurunya, Al Ghazali. Ia mengadukan kepadanya kegelisahan hatinya dan meminta nasihat. Ia memang mengaku sudah banyak memperoleh pelajaran dari gurunya, tetapi yang dicari belum ditemukan. Salah satu ucapan yang disampaikan kepada gurunya adalah sebagai berikut: "Beberapa buku karangan Syeikh, seperti Kitab Ihya’ dan kitab-kitab yang lain memang sudah menjawab masalah saya. Akan tetapi, maksud saya di sini adalah agar Syeikh menuliskan untuk saya nasihat yang tertulis hanya dalam beberapa lembar kertas. yang saya boleh membawanya sepanjang hidup saya dan mengamalkannya."
Kemudian Al Ghazali menulis jawapan. Surat itu kepada muridnya sebagaimana berikut.



Ilmu adalah Untuk Diamalkan
Ketahuilah, wahai anakku yang mulia dan sahabat yang ikhlas, - semoga Allah mengekalkan ketaatanmu kepadaNya dan melangkahkan kakimu dijalan para kekasihNya-, Sesungguhnya tebaran nasihat ditulis dari sumber risalah Rasulullah saw. Jika nasihat dari beliau telah sampai kepadamu, maka nasihat apa lagi yang kamu perlukan dariku. Jika belum sampai, maka katakan kepadaku apa yang telah kamu peroleh selama bertahun-tahun ini dari ilmu yang telah kau raih? Sementara pada saat yang sama engkau habiskan waktumu mencari ilmu itu.

Wahai Anakku di antara nasihat Rasulullah saw. yang sangat berharga adalah sabda beliau ini:
"Tanda-tanda Allah berpaling dari hambaNya adalah kesibukan hamba itu dengan sesuatu yang tidak berarti. Jika seseorang sesaat saja dari usianya hilang untuk sesuatu yang tidak berguna bagi tujuan penciptaannya, maka patut baginya mendapatkan kerugian yang panjang: dan barangsiapa telah melewati 40 tahun dan kebaikannya tidak mengalahkan keburukannya, maka bersiap-siaplah ke neraka."

Nasihat ini sudah cukup bagi orang yang benar-benar ahli ilmu. Wahai Anakku, urusan nasihat sangat mudah, yang sulit adalah menerima nasihat. Karena menerima nasihat bagi hawa nafsu terasa pahit, sementara larangan-larangan itulah yang disukai oleh sebagian besar manusia, khususnya bagi orang yang hanya sibuk mencari ilmu, dimana ilmunya tersebut digunakan hanya untuk memperoleh keagungan dan kemulian dunia. Dengan upayanya mencari ilmu itu - dia hanya bertujuan untuk mendapatkan ilmu semata - bukan untuk diamalkan - agar ilmu tersebut dinisbatkan kepadanya.

Dengan demikian orang akan berkata "Si Fulan seorang yang berilmu (sarjana, master, doktor dll -pentj) dan mulia". Orang yang terakhir ini hidupnya hanya sibuk mengurusi nafsu dan memasuki lorong-lorong kehidupan dunia. Ia mengira bahwa dengan mendapatkan ilmu semata, kehidupannya akan selamat dan terlepas dari kesengsaraan. Ia tidak perlu amal. Ini adalah keyakinan para ahli falsafah. Mahasuci Allah. Ia tidak mengetahui ketentuan ini ketika sudah mendapatkan ilmu dan tidak mengamalkannya, ia justeru berhujjah dengan sekian banyak dalil yang memperkuat kesimpulannya bahwa ilmu untuk ilmu, bukan untuk amal. Rasulullah saw. bersabda: "Manusia yang mendapatkan azab paling berat di akhirat adalah orang yang berilmu yang Allah tidak memberikan kemanfaatan atas ilmunya."

Imam Ahmad dan al-Bayhaqi meriwayatkan dari Mansur Ibn Zadan yang berkata, "Telah sampai kabar kepada kami, bahwa apabila orang berilmu tidak memperoleh manfaat dari ilmunya itu, para penghuni Neraka berteriak karena mencium baunya yang busuk. Mereka—para penghuni neraka itu— berkata kepadanya, "Apa yang telah kamu perbuat, wahai orang jelek? Kamu telah mengganggu kami dengan baumu yang busuk. Apakah tidak cukup bagimu rasa sakit dan keburukan kami?" Orang yang berilmu itu menjawab, "Dulu, aku ini orang berilmu, tetapi aku tidak memperoleh manfaat dari ilmuku."

Diriwayatkan bahwa Al Junaidi setelah wafat memperlihatkan dirinya dalam tidurku, lalu ditanyakan kepadanya, "Apa kabar. hai Abu Al Qasim (panggilan Al Junaidi)?" Ia menjawab, "Semua ungkapan (ilmu) telah rusak dan isyarat-isyarat (ilmu yang lebih dalam) juga musnah. Tidak ada yang memberi kami manfaat kecuali rakaat-rakaat yang kami rukuk di tengah malam."



Wahai Anakku, Janganlah kamu menjadi orang yang rugi disebabkan amalmu, dan jangan pula batinmu dalam keadaan kosong dari dzikir pada Allah. Yakinlah bahwa ilmu semata tidak mungkin bisa diandalkan.
Contohnya, seandainya seorang laki-laki gagah di tengah gurun sendirian memiliki sepuluh pedang India yang sangat ampuh dan beberapa pusaka lainnya. Laki-laki itu dikenal pemberani dan pahlawan perang.

Kemudian seekor singa yang sangat besar menghampirinya dan sedia menerkamnya. Apa pendapatmu, apakah senjata-senjata yang hebat itu mampu mencegah lelaki itu dari terkaman singa jika ia tidak menggunakan dan menghayunkannya kepada singa? Sudah pasti senjata-senjata itu tidak mampu melindunginya kecuali dengan digerak-gerakkan.

Demikian juga jika seseorang telah membaca 100.000 masalah ilmiah dan berhasil menguasainya. tetapi tidak mengamalkannya, maka ilmu-ilmu itu tidak akan memberinya manfaat kecuali dengan mengamalkannva.
Contoh lain. jika seseorang sakit kuning, dan ia mengetahui bahwa kesembuhannya hanya dengan ramuan ubat tertentu yang telah dikuasainya, maka ia tidak mungkin sembuh kecuali dengan meminum ubat itu.

Seandainya kamu telah belajar puluhan tahun, membaca banyak buku dan menguasai berbagai macam ilmu, lalu kamu menyimpan kitah-kitab sebagai bahan koleksi peribadi, maka semua itu tidak akan menolong dan menjadikanmu mendapatkan manfaat kecuali dengan mengamalkannya.

Allah swt. berfirman:

"Dan bahwa manusia tidak memperoleh selain apa yang telah diusahakannya." (QS. Al Najm: 39).
"Barangsiapa mengharap perjumpaan dengan Tuhannya. maka hendaklah ia mengerjakan amal yang soleh." (QS. Al Kahfi: 110).

"Sebagai pembalasan dari apa yang selalu mereka kerjakan." (Qs. Al Taubah: 82).

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh. bagi mereka adalah syurga Firdaus menjadi tempat tinggal. Mereka kekal di dalamnya. mereka tidak ingin berpindah darinya." (QS. Al Kahfi: 107-108).

"Kecuali orang-orang yang bertaubat, beriman dan mengerjakan amal soleh." (Qs. Al Furqan: 70).

Apa pula pendapatmu tentang hadis berikut ini:

"Islam dibangun di atas lima [dasar]: bersaksi bahwa tidak ada Tuhan kecuali Allah dan Muhammad adalah utusan Allah, menegakkan shalat., mengeluarkan zakat, berpuasa Ramadhan, dan berhaji ke Baitullah bagi yang mampu."

Iman adalah diucapkan dengan lidah, dibenarkan dengan hati dan dilakukan dengan anggota tubuh. Dalil yang menunjukkan keharusan beramal lebih banyak daripada orang yang menghitung-hitung bahawa seseorang boleh sampai ke syurga berkat keutamaan dan kemuliaan Allah. Akan tetapi, hal ini hanya mungkin tercapai setelah orang itu melakukan ketaatan dan beribadah kepadaNya, kerana rahmat dan keutamaan Allah hanya untuk orang-orang yang mendekati kebaikan. Yakni golongan orang baik.

Seandainya dikatakan pula hahwa syurga boleh dicapai dengan iman semata, maka kami jawab, "Benar, tetapi sampai bila?" Berapa banyak rintangan yang menuju syurga yang harus dipangkas jika benar-benar ingin sampai. Tentangan pertama adalah tentangan iman. Apakah iman yang dimilikinya berhasil dipertahankan dan tidak tercabut dari hatinya, atau sebaliknya? Jika imannya selamat, apakah ia tidak termasuk orang yang khianat atau rugi? Hasan Basri berkata. "Allah pada hari kiamat akan berkata kepada hamba-hambaNya, "Masuklah, hai hamha-hambaKu ke surga sebab rahmatKu dan berbahagialah kamu dengan amalmu."

Wahai Anakku, selama kamu tidak beramal, maka kamu tidak mendapatkan upah (pahala).
Dikisahkan hahwa seorang lelaki Bani Israil telah menyembah Allah selama 70 tahun. Allah swt. ingin memperlihatkannya kepada para malaikat, Maka diutuslah satu malaikat untuk memberikan khabar kepadanya bahwa ibadah yang selama ini dilakukannya belum menjadikannya layak masuk syurga. Ketika khabar itu diterimanya, ia menjawabnya demikian. "Kami memang diciptakan untuk ibadah. Karena itu, kami harus menyembahNya." Ketika malaikat itu kembali dan menghadap Allah, ia mengadu, "Tuhanku, Engkau lebih tahu atas apa yang ia katakan." Allah pun menjawab, "Jika ia tidak berpaling dari beribadah kepada Kami, maka Kami bersama kemuliaan Kami tidak berpaling darinya. Saksikanlah, hai malaikat-malaikatKu, sesungguhnya Aku telah mengampuninya."

Rasulullah saw. bersabda:
"Hisablah diri kamu sebelum kamu dihisab dan timbanglah amal kamu sebelum [amal] kamu ditimbang."

Ali bin Abi Thalib r.a. berkata, "Barangsiapa mengira bahawa dengan tanpa amal boleh sampai [kesyurga], maka ia seorang yang berangan-angan (pengkhayal). Barangsiapa mengira bahwa ia boleh sampai [ke syurga] hanya kerana amalnya, bererti ia adalah orang yang tidak perlukan [rahmat Allah]."

Al Hasan berkata, "Mencari syurga dengan tanpa amal adalah satu di antara dosa-dosa [besar]." la juga berkata, "Tanda kebenaran yang hakiki adalah meninggalkan perbuatan yang memperhatikan amal dan bukan meninggalkan amal."

Rasulullah saw. bersabda: "Orang yang cerdik adalah orang yang jiwanya dekat (pendek) dan beramal untuk sesuatu sesudah mati. Orang yang bodoh adalah orang yang mengikuti hawa nafsu dan mengangan-angankan Allah dengan angan-angan kosong." Wallahualam bissawab

Re-Lifing My Writing

I almost forgot that I have got a blog (which not many plp know anyway). I came across "someone's" blog and feel that I should re-start writing. I saw that my last post dated 2nd August 2008 and that is close to 2 years ago!

In 2 years time a lot happened. My milestone changes. I fell in love, got married, went to honeymoon, changed company (again!) but overall I am still me. Pretty much the same. I suppose the reason that stop writing because I feel that there was not much interesting happened to me. Perhaps it is just me that has no feeling to the things that happen to and around me.

I think I should begin to start to 'feel' what life really is. Start to appreciate the things around me and start thinking that I will not always get what I want in life because God knows what is good for His servant.

Just a quick summary of the things that happen in my life for the past 2 years...







I got married.



Went for honeymoon





Went to China



But I am still the old me.

It Has Been 10 Years Today

Today (2nd August 2008)it has been 10 years he departed this world. It has been 10 years since he departed from my eyes. The same ten years has passed so quickly that I did not even realize that I have lived in this world without him.

I hope he would be able to see me grow to a person I am today and be proud of it. I wish I can show him that I am no longer a kid now. I cannot fathom how wonderful live would be with him today. However, God knows best the matter that we don't.

I pray for him in my every prayers and may God bless him with His Mercy.

Al-Fatihah

Loving son.

On Malaise

Kurang Ajar by Usman Awang

Sebuah perkataan yang paling ditakuti
Untuk bangsa kita yang pemalu.
Sekarang kata ini kuajarkan pada anakku;
Kau harus menjadi manusia kurang ajar
Untuk tidak mewarisi malu ayahmu.
Lihat petani-petani yang kurang ajar
Memiliki tanah dengan caranya
Sebelumnya mereka tak punya apa
Kerana ajaran malu dari bangsanya.
Suatu bangsa tidak menjadi besar
Tanpa memiliki sifat kurang ajar.

I begin this posting by my long-admired poem by Usman Awang which I think describes sufficiently well some of Malays characteristics. We have long been taught by generations to observe manners and courtesies in daily life. While it is definitive to demonstrate the Eastern values that we carry, sometimes we got carried forward by unduly conducting the same manner in place where we are demanded to be firm and uncompromising. As the last two sentences reveal, the nation will not develop should we stick to be ‘shy’ to demand the rightful things which are ours. In today’s context, striving to top the chart in education, social class and economic well-being of an individual ought not to carry above characteristics to circumvent any obstruction in nation (Malay) development.



Malays are funny people. Sometimes they are ‘shy’ (I find it quite hard to translate the word ‘malu’ into the right context) to do the rightful things but are completely oblivious engaging in immoral activities. They are ‘shy’ when asked to speak up their mind but not when raising voice arguing the necessaries. They are ‘shy’ to challenge the superior but not when criticizing the subordinates. They are ‘shy’ to change what is not right in a holistic systems but not when changes bring individual interests. Worse, they are ‘shy’ to admit they can stand alone but not when provoked for being gullible and start defending his stand. A father is not ‘shy’ to tell the child to abstain from smoking but he himself smokes. Funny eh! I do not know if I can say that Malays are lack of wisdom and perhaps should learn from other nations. Hang on, while Malays are malaise, how can they want to learn from others?! When Mahathir said that loyalty should no longer be the values of Malays, I whole-heartedly agree with him for being loyal means we are trapped to explore further to develop more.

Excuses or finding reasons to move forward have long been the platform that we stand on. We keep on asking what if so and so occur and what is going to happen to me. On a more sarcastic note, we are scared to face the challenge ahead and always find reasons to support our stands to adopt stay back and look attitude. We are still not aware that success comes with risk, it does not come by just waiting for it. We should discard the what-if attitude and step ahead to be at par with other nations.

Undeniably, it can be observed that some Malays are not longer the Malays 50 years ago. But, are we competent enough to ensure the rest of the ‘left-behind Malays’ and our future generations are capable to cope with the changes and challenges in todays’ demanding world? Or should we just discard the ‘left-behind Malays’ (since the malaise attitude is too resistant to change) and move forward (quicker and faster without them) to develop our own new Malay nation? Should we be loyal to our old Malays?

Two Stories

Just something that I think I should scribble here for my own remembrance.

I attended Friday prayer at UWA last Friday. Was on my sick leave. Sh Faizel was giving the sermon and I quite like the simplicity of his sermon this time. He was talking about how strange a believer is, that everything happens may it be good or not to him is a blessing. He related this to a story about a Caliph and his advisor.

There was a day that the Caliph was with his advisor and something grateful befalls him and his advisor says Alhamdulillah. There was another day that he was wit his advisor and accidentally cut his hand and the advisor says Alhamdulillah too. Not knowing what the advisor meant, the Caliph was angry and ordered the advisor to be incarcerated. As per the usual custom of the rulers those days he was set for hunting only he found to be encountered by a group of people looking for a sacrifice for their God. The Caliph was captured to be presented as a sacrifice for their God. Just at the point before he was about to be sacrificed, they found that his hand had a bandage as a result of the cut he had earlier. As as sacrifice to their holy God, they have to present a perfect non-mutilated being. Hence, the Caliph was released.

With this occurrence, the Caliph now understand the wisdom of his advisor. He ordered that the advisor be released. The story did not end there. The advisor narrated that as he was dragged to the prison, he keep on reciting Alhamdulillah. Has he not been incarcerated, he would have followed the Caliph for hunting and would be a perfect sacrifice for the group in place for the Caliph. How strange is the believer, always feels grateful whatever befalls him!



As I was writing this, my chain of thought linked to another sermon I listened sometimes ago at Rivervale by Imam Jalil. He was talking about wisdom of words. He also narrated a story making it easy for me to remember.

There was a King and he had two interpreters for his dream. The King dreamt that he lost all of his teeth except one. He was worried and called one of his interpreter to see the insight of his dream. The interpreter said that all of his family members will die leaving him alone. Upon hearing this, the King was full of wrath and sent him to be beheaded. He called the second interpreter. Upon telling what he had dreamt, the interpreter said that among all of his family member he would be the longest to live. The King was glad and rewarded the interpreter with valuables.

Essentially, the gist of the interpretations are the same just the way it was described by words.

May we benefit from these two stories.

Oriental Modesty

I just recently finished reading a book by Adibah Amin, Glimpses. I first heard of Adibah Amin through her translation of Shahnon Ahmad's book Ranjau Sepanjang Jalan (Thorns Among Roses) and this is the second time I heard of her actually writing a book herself.

Glimpses narrates the norms and unique cultures that Malaysian carries or in her own words it is the cameos of Malaysian life. I find the book is true in its account for capturing the essence of cultural believes and characteristics of Malaysians. I find it nothing new really when reading the books but nonetheless it still brings smile on my face when I nod in agreement to what she wrote regarding the funny and witty attitude that Malaysians possess. In short, the book captures the everyday lives of Malaysians.

Among all the chapters that she demarcates the book into, I find that this one chapter has to be told in my blog for my own future reference. The barely three pages chapter of Oriental Modesty I have to fully agree with her. She begins the chapter with,

"When someone pays you a compliment, do you smile and say 'thank you' western-style or do you respond eastern-fashion with a coy 'no-lah'?"



Personally, I think we have to shift our unnecessary so-called ethically modesty into somewhat that reflects self-confidence in a humble way. Well, that may be a complicated way of putting it. In short, with respect to the above paragraph 'no-lah' actually is an act of rejecting the compliments and to some westerners it may be inappropriate (rude is too big a word). Saying thank you (or better still 'thank you and I thank God for that') reflects self-assurance and a positive of handling compliments. However, being Asians (or Malaysians) that notion may be interpreted as to brag or to boast having been complimented. If this is the case, the complimenter should not have complimented hypocritically if he/she expects such replies. Both complimenter and complimentee have to be true to themselves in demonstrating a non self-denial attitude.

Malaysian are full of self-denial and unnecessary modesty that to them can be construed as humility in disguise. We said 'no-lah' when someone complimented your big house and 'he is just like any other child' when someone congrats on your child's achievements. Our paradigm has to be shifted to a culture that shows more of convincing and positive mind-set instead of denying the true facts of life in the name of modesty.

To Plan is God

I was in UWA for Friday prayer some two weeks ago during the Christmas break. The Imam who led the prayer was Al-Taf, a man with strong voice and sturdy character. He was a replacement Imam as the Imam who should come to give the sermon could not make it. Before he started he apologized for not being well-prepared and he hoped that the people could bear with him. His sermon was nothing special to Muslims, it was the same sermon he had given before. I was in the congregation and told myself that he really was not prepared. He talked about the pillars of Islam and Iman, who is Muhammad s.a.w. and who is Jesus a.s., things that are already well-versed for Muslims. I was thinking that he could have given a better sermon than that even though he was not well-prepared. I persisted through the sermon.

Few days after that, I learned that there is no coincidence in life but has been well-planned by Almighty Allah. A friend of mine told me that apparently a non-Muslim guy was present during the sermon and converted to Islam after listening to the sermon. He could have been exposed to Islam before but I am not sure about the detail of this. The sermon was a perfect introduction to Islam and the simplicity of its beliefs to someone who wants to know the basis of the religion. I was wrong to say that the Imam could have given a better one than that!

Lesson learned: Never underestimate every single detail that happens before you. God is a perfect planner.

On Malaysia

The entry below is something I wrote during my two weeks break in Malaysia some two months ago. It is more of a critic rather than providing a solution for the problem. Hence, I will try to write a second part of this in the near future outlining the possible solutions that I think should be implemented.

I do not know if I can say that Malaysia has evolved or probably revolved dramatically in the past 10 years in terms of development. Physical development has seen that the country has had a considerable leap. We pride from the tallest, the biggest and recently the first Malaysian to go outer space. Most often than not, we always define or at least see development as material or external expansion or progress. Seldom have we heard about spiritual of internal development i.e. human development. This is the basis of all the developments. It is the foundation to higher level progress. It is the first pass before we proceed to focus on the physical part of it. Developing the moral and spiritual values is more important as it defines the values of the future generation of who will be in charge of the physical advancement of the country.



Recently the country has seen a sudden tremendous plunge in our moral values in the community. It is shocking now how Malaysians have been inundated with immoral behaviour of their own people. The brutal murder of Nurin Jazlin has put me on my nerves. It is unimaginable how someone can go to the extent of barbarically molesting and killing a little girl. This is but one case that has been brought forward to public knowledge and there are many more such cases happening everyday in our so-called peaceful society. It is poignant how material progression has led to a fall in our morals and etiquettes. It is not wrong in my opinion to say that we are being one sided in terms of chasing development; i.e. we forget to invest in human development. It is of futile effort should we develop the nation physically but in the end of the day the society with weak moral values is being generated at a cost of the external development. We are not ‘engineering’ a generation that is capable of handling the material progress that is being developed in the future i.e. the generation of strong moral and leadership values.

What has gone wrong? Or rather where have we gone wrong? The country has announced a lot of development plans from NEP to RMK-9 but sad enough that very little is being dedicated for human development as in developing a well-mannered and spiritually-aware nation. This internal human development should be in line with the material progress in order to secure a future that is well-developed externally (i.e. physical development) and a nation that is well-brought up in terms of etiquettes, morals and religion. Our focus is more towards human capital development that is capable of bringing up the economy but we forget to bring up the human themselves in terms of cultivating added values in them.

There are efforts that have to be stepped up to warrant a society that is strong spiritually and morally. Undoubtedly this course of action should begin at an early stage as internal development is not a day process but a process that needs to be nurtured gradually.

My Spiritual Journey

I do not intend to write long in this post. I let the pictures do the talk. God willing, I was doing my first Umrah the end of April this year and it was indeed a real spiritual journey, far from any of the holidays that I have been to. This is far superior.


Me in front of Masjid An-Nabawi, Madinah


View of Masjid An-Nabawi


View of Masjidil Haram, Makkah


Camel Farm


Museum of the Architecture of the Two Holy Mosques, Makkah


Arafat


View near Babul Madinah after Fajr

Amidst the richness of the Holy City, we can still find people live in poverty. Sometimes I wonder is it so hard for human being to feel for each other?


Children of Madrasah Darul Uloom

I had the chance to see Rashidullah who showed me around Makkah, find me some nice shops for Jubah and invited me cordially to his Madrasah where he taught more than 200 Burmese children of the science of Quran. It is not too much if I say they live just above the poverty line. Allah make their journay easy. The picture before and after show the background of the scene near his madrasah.


Burmese Migrant in Makkah

God make me strong.

Give me the correct understanding of Deen

I have attended several Islamic lectures and towards the end of the lectures they often say so that Allah grant us the correct understanding of Deen. I never bother to ruminate upon its meaning until recently that I attended Sh. Bilal Moola lecture after Tarawih in Hepburn mosque that it sparked to my mind what it really means.

Often enough we were reminded that Islam is simple and its teaching is easy to follow. Several restrictions imposed on its teachings are a cause of prevention before we are far astray. That is the basis of Islamic guidance. This where I think that we need to ask God to grant us the correct understanding of the religion. Having been born in a Muslim family does not guarantee us to practise Islam in its correct way. Those who revert/convert to Islam often have a better understanding of Islam because they seek and look for the truth. We who were born as a Muslim tend to take things for granted and we practise it as though it is a culture to practise not as something compulsory as instructed by God.



Having been granted the correct understanding of the religion will enable us to see Islam in the true perspective of how it should be viewed. Lacking of this quality is the source of the wrong interpretation of the religion and the basis for the things that we think is condoned by the religion but as a matter of fact is not. For instance, excessive music in daily life that has blended well in our norms now. Things are easily fall into oblivion when we do not really understand the religion. There are so many small facets in our life that we regard is permissible by the religion but is actually less desirable Islamically. I believe that having committed many small sins is actually worse that committing one big sin. Committing big sin is easily realised by us but the danger of not realising the small sins that we commit repeatedly is a more perilous deed to do. Worse still, we do not even realise the deeds as sins. These are entirely devil’s game.

I strongly believe that Islam should not be judged by looking at Muslims. It should be evaluated by its true teachings. Most often Muslim does not portray the essence of the religion. If I may use the term “modify”, the teaching has been modified (added and subtracted) to suit our daily life just because of our ignorance. We need the correct understanding of the religion.

Oh God give me the correct understanding of the Deen! I need that guidance to make me understand Islam better and to practise it in its true form. Let us practise it in its true form not in the manner that we think is right but rather in the way that have been instructed by you and your Messenger in its original teaching.
I remind myself and others.

Being Me

We chase our dreams, we walk the road that we create and we talk the thoughts that we picture just to realise the future that we have been longing for. Sometimes we forget that we ought to take a step back and look into the unique existence of us in this world. No doubt we want to be successful and we all have our own choice of colours to paint our future. We hasten in realising our dreams and we forget to relish the snippets of our lives. Life is a journey with no end but ironically we rather hunt for the finishing line forgetting to savour the passage or the quest that we take to materialise the journey. It is the road that we take towards the future that makes up our life and worth to be treasured.



Life is getting complex with today’s society. We are competing to be more successful than the others. Times and again we overlook the learning route that we take and we let it pass by unbeneficial. I believe in taking a break and ponder upon the sole reason we are here and let us tread the way that we deem is right. We should steer our life according to our beliefs. Let us just be us.

I saw a quote on TV back home the other day. It says;
“The hardest challenge in this life is to be ourselves in the world where everybody else is trying to make us to be somebody else”.

On Old Friends

Coming back for raya meeting old school friends and teachers that I have lost contact with for some time was indeed a refreshing experience. Most of them have had a turn in their lives, have moved from a student life to having a career. Time has changed so much for the past seven years since I left the school but Taiping is still the same old town that I have known for the past 24 years. Coming back here has seen that I have to change my Malay accent to the northern dialect which I have to admit that I have to think for a while first before I utter something. I have called Australia home for the past 6 years and my Malay there is conversed in KL-type accent.

I enjoy meeting old friends and share the old stories together, had a laugh together. They are still of the same old characters. My Taiping friends are of less complicated people. We do not talk about having a lot of money, about having a business and bragging about career. We talked about teachers, about friends that we did not manage to keep in contact with and of course about school. These less complicated topics are easy to talk about and a great source of amusement to us. It brings back the good old memories and I am actually amazed by how much I can appreciate those memoirs now. Sometimes the bitter past can be a sweet one when we laugh and pick on each other.



Time has inevitably changed the path of our life. Every junctures that we take now is decided by us and will lead to future consequences. We begin to assume responsibilities to family and to ourselves. We still talk about the same topic we used to talk before e.g. flirting with girls, picking on some friends etc. but now we also talk about the future more seriously e.g. married life. We begin to feel the burden that we need to carry in the years ahead. I am happy that at least I know that most of my friends know where they are going or at least have the noble intention to have a rewarding life. The most important lesson that I learned when meeting them is that we cannot judge people by their conducts at school. People grow and mature. By time and God willing we begin to feel the sense of responsibilities that we need to have. An urchin may become someone important in the future. People are funny and unpredictable and life is complex that it can take its turn so quickly without us realising it.

It is interesting how we can learn from each other so much regardless of our background. I find it fascinating how people can be so enthralling that every move we take can serve as a lesson to others. Probably that is the reason why God say that human being is the best of His creatures. It is also worth mentioning that every step we take will be recorded and rewarded if the intention is right. God reward the good action when we intent to do it before we actually carry out the intention but only record that bad action once we commit it.

Let us all savour the good old times and benefit from every bit and pieces that have been left behind for us to glance at to remind us of our roots. When we reach upon a star, make sure our feet is still on the ground.

15 Oct 2007, 7.08 pm Taiping

Irony Syawal

Today is the second day of raya and I am back home at the moment. I am watching a program in TV 9 called From Taiping to Akademi Al-Quran a story about a Taipingite who became the champion of Akademi Al-Quran. It is always a wonderful feeling to be here even though there are not many people at home now but guests keep coming as every past years. Always looking forward to see them. It is a nice feeling and environment here with raya song and program played on TV, kids coming for raya from out of nowhere and meeting old school friends that I have lost contact with for years.

I have to sincerely say that this Ramadhan was not as sweet as my past Ramadhan. I only woke up for Tahajud once and Alhamdulillah I did not miss one single Tarawih while in Perth except for one day when I was on the flight to Malaysia. I guess I have been slacking in making this Ramadhan a beneficial one. Having to work and some other commitments are not an excuse for me to treat Ramadhan as any other months. I was very inspired by this MAS accountant that I met in Trinity prayer room when he said that we do not do justice to Ramadhan if we treat Ramadhan just like any other usual months. Therefore, he took 2 weeks off to celebrate Ramadhan. On the other hand, I took 2 weeks off to celebrate raya! I know that one of the groups of people that has been cursed by Rasulullah s.a.w. is those who do not take full advantage of the month of Ramadhan. Allah forgive me.



I begin to feel that we are not on the right track in our way of celebrating Syawal and our way of saying farewell to Ramadhan. It is an irony how we are in high spirits in celebrating Syawal and at the same time we forget that we are leaving Ramadhan behind us not knowing if we are meeting Ramadhan in the next year never mind if we have benefited from this year’s Ramadhan. As far as I am concerned, Islam stresses heavily on reaping full benefit of Ramadhan and 1st of Syawal is the day that we celebrate having successfully completed Ramadhan. Syawal is the celebration of religion not that of culture. However, today we tend to celebrate Syawal like a big party putting Islamic values to a side. It should be a way of expressing our gratitude to Allah for giving us the blessed month of Ramadhan.
It is an irony how we are joyful that Ramadhan has gone and for some of us Ramadhan is not something that we look forward to even though we know the big rewards that contain in it. Every big reward comes with difficulties that we have to face and in this case we have fast and to govern ourselves from everything that has been forbidden to us in order to reap the benefit of the blessed month.

It is an irony how we can cry of not meeting families in Syawal but we can’t cry realising that Ramadhan is going. It is an intrinsic nature of human being I think that we are forgetful and we enjoy being happy. We look forward for the worldly happiness and we forget about eternal happiness. I think what we should really be doing is that we have to reap the full benefit of Ramadhan and then we enjoy the Syawal festivities, of course within the Islamic boundaries.

I remind myself so that next year my heart will be soften to perform more in Ramadhan and to moisten my lips more with the praising of my God. Not to mention also that Ramadhan is a month to practice to be carried forward to the months after.

14 Oct 2007, Taiping

On Patience

Went to Hepburn yesterday and as usual the talk by Bilal Moola was inspiring
even though we might have heard the story before, but the way he narrated the
story leaves an impact. Therefore, I think I should extend the reception of
the story. Yesterday's talk revolved around the image portrayed by the
Muslims with an example set by Rasulullah s.a.w. I gathered 2 stories
basically. Of course, this is my version of the story as my memory could
retain and should not be treated as authentic narration.



There was this famous Jews Rabbi by the name Zaid bin San'ah and he read from his scripture that there
will be a great Prophet and He will be the last prophet sent by God to the
people. He was not convinced that Muhammad s.a.w. is the last noble prophet
as mentioned in his scripture. Therefore, he decided to investigate the
quality of Rasulullah s.a.w.; the high level of patience as a sign of true
prophethood. He went to the Prophet's s.a.w. house to investigate. When he
was there, there came a poor man asking for some food.

"Ya Muhammad, could you spare me some food?" says the poor man

"By Allah, I will give you if I have something but I do not have anything at
the moment" says Muhammad s.a.w.

The Jews Rabbi thought that this would be a good opportunity for him to test
the true sign of Prophethood of Muhammad s.a.w. Thus he said to Muhammad
s.a.w.,

"I have an orchard and if you will you can pick the fruits there and I will
accept the payment from you later"

"If that is the case, I will accept and will pay you at the set date" said
Muhammad s.a.w and they agreed on the date of payment.

Three days before the set date of payment, the Jews Rabbi came to Muhammad
s.a.w. and asked for the money saying in a harsh way that the Prophet s.a.w.
has forgotten to pay the money owing. Even though it was before the agreed
date, the Rabbi showed his anger and rude manner. At that point, when he
turned his head, he saw Umar r.a. behind him with his eye ball rolling
showing his anger.

"If it is not because of the presence of Muhammad s.a.w., I would have
beheaded you right now. How could you talk in such a way to my Prophet?" said
Umar in an angry manner.

"Calm down Umar, this is not what I want from you. You are not making the
situation better. What you should really say is, remind me to pay the debt by
time and tell him to ask in a softer manner", said Muhammad s.a.w. and he
went off.

Look at the quality of the prophet in this instance. After the incidence,

"Do you know who I am Umar?" asked the Rabbi

"I don't know who you are and I don't want to know who you are" said Umar
angrily.

"I am Zaid b San'ah and by Allah
today I have witnessed that Muhammad is a true prophet of Allah by the
quality that he has shown. From now on, I shall recite my syahadah and will
give half of my belonging in the path of Allah", said the Rabbi after he was
moved by the manner of the prophet.

I think this is very beautiful.



Just one other point, we can see that Umar was so angry at the Rabbi for his
harsh manner to Muhammad s.a.w. The love of the sahabah to Prophet s.a.w is
unique.

At the death of Prophet s.a.w., there was this sahabah and he mentioned that,

"My eyes are no longer useful if I could not see Muhammad s.a.w again"

And he asked Allah to take away his sight so that the last object that he
sees will be Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. Allah granted his wish.

Pls pass this along to be a great example of patience of its
virtue.

-From the e mail that I wrote to a friend.